Tick Tock....

This post is all about making TIME.

A concept that I would like to think is simple to grasp but I am learning it is harder for some people. Specifically MEN.

Why is it so damn hard for a guy to plan ahead.. or am I just meeting guys that don't care enough about me to do so? Is it really hard to say "Hey, it would be nice to see you this week when are you available.." - and actually plan a night? Apparently it is too hard for most men.  They would rather wait until the absolute last minute to extend an invite for you to come hang out.  Not only does it make me feel like I was your LAST option.. but I probably already have plans, have chosen to stay home, or don't have what I'd need to make said "hanging out" work.

Especially for me.. I work downtown, but live 45 min away.  Most of the things men want to do involve being downtown, or they live downtown.. or even worse.. they live the complete opposite direction from downtown 30-45 min... If I don't have plans after work I usually go home.. and by the time I go home.. it irritates me to all hell to get a call or text asking to "hang out" at 8pm or later at night.  Especially when I've told these people to give me more notice.

I understand that men don't like to make plans.. that they run off the seat of their pants and do things on a "whim"..however, I would think if you REALLY liked a girl as you are trying to say you do- that you would make more effort to plan time with her.. especially if she's told you that she needs more notice.

Am I being too naive and continuing to date men like this? At what point do you just throw in the towel at the ridiculousness that is occurring and move on? How many chances do you give someone until you just say ENOUGH! I'm seriously at a loss... I know that I should not waste time on someone who doesn't make time for me.. but this seems to be a consistent battle with ALL of the men I've been meeting.  What is the deal? Are there men that exist that are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to pursue a woman? Am I expecting too much? 

I am a busy woman.. and I still find TIME for the things and people that are important to me... so I don't care how "busy" someone is... It is simple.. you make time for what is important to YOU... and I'm starting to realize that even though people may say you are important to them, that you really mean a lot to them, or that they really like you... Actions begin to speak louder than words... everyone is busy.. everyone has a lot on their plate.. but we ALL make TIME for what is important in our lives...and yes there are certain things in people's lives that I would never hold against them for taking time towards.. such as a Job, Family, & Kids- However, if you are going to say you are interested in me.. make TIME for me or someone else will.

Please post your thoughts, advice etc.. always glad to hear it :)

Phone Etiquette While on a date...

Between your friends, social networks, and apps; it seems almost impossible for people to NOT get on their phones these days. (we are all guilty of it) All of this is completely normal when you are by yourself or with friends, but what is the proper etiquette now-a-days for when you are on a date?

Is it supposed to be accepted that someone will be texting, social networking, etc. regularly throughout the date.. or is it still common knowledge that it is somewhat rude to be doing that? I mean.. when it happens to me- it makes me feel as though that person would rather be elsewhere, that their time could be better spent with other people, or god forbid they "just aren't that into me." Should the focus not be on each other? I mean I get that there may be more "appropriate" times to check your phone while on a date (when one of you go to the bathroom) however, doing it often in front of the person is a bit rude- is it not?

I am a very social person... and I do LOVE LOVE LOVE to check my Facebook, Twitter, etc. But when I am on a date I am pretty respectful about not being on my phone because I am there to get to know the person I'm on a date with.  If you are texting regularly (or appear to be) it just seems a bit shady and disrespectful to the person you are with. Friends will still be there in a few hours, Facebook and Twitter are not going anywhere and the people "following" you will not hate you if you don't update them every 10 minutes.

Also- does good phone etiquette only apply for the first date? All dates? At what point is it ok? Or isn't it at all?

*I don't really care about this as much if you are out together with a group of other people... it's bound to happen that everyone will be off and on their phones throughout the evening.. but mostly wondering what the rule is these days when on a date with just you and that person....

Please share your thoughts.. I'm interested to see what your opinion is on this.

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.- Someday I will know what this means :)

I found this quote/passage by Bob Marley and fell in love with it.

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."


— Bob Marley
 
If you have already found this in someone may you continue to have this special connection for many years to come. If you have yet to find it; I know one day you will.  Keep your heart open and know that love takes risk.

Part Time Lover

At some point or another I'm sure most of us have been in this situation.. where there is this person.. that you have had a connection with for some time.  And not just a 'we're great friends' connection.. something more than that.. something unique and special, however you never seem to get the chance to see where the relationship would go beyond the 'friend' level.

Somehow you always end up being the 'in between' person, or what I like to call, the Part Time Lover.  Let me explain exactly what I mean...  you know that you and this particular person have chemistry- emotionally, physically, mentally and so many other ways that sometimes you just can't even explain it.  This person is usually your 'what if?' As in.. even when you are involved in other relationships.. you still think 'what would happen if we were dating?' 

However, when the opportunity presents itself.. and you are both single (you may finally get the chance to try things out and see where it may go) they don't want to date you, but they want to be intimate with you because you connect so well.  They utilize you as their part time lover. They have no intention of ever really wanting to date you.. but you are the person that they use as their 'comfort blanket' when they aren't seriously dating someone else.

Some people would compare this to a booty call- someone to hook up with until you find your next boyfriend/girlfriend- however, it is a bit more than a booty call. For instance.. when you have that great of a connection and those feelings for someone.. you cannot just detach yourself from those feelings and just casually hook up. (or at least I can't)

It gets to the point where you finally just have to accept the fact that nothing more will every happen between the two of you... that you will always be viewed as their part time lover and never as someone they would be in a relationship with, because time and time again you watch them date others and then run to you when they aren't in a relationship. 

I am not going to be someones comfort blanket... it is much too complicated to have casual sex with someone that you have feelings for.. and a bit hurtful when that person claims to have the same feelings for you- but can so easily detach themselves from those feelings.

It is crazy though, how long we allow ourselves to be in wonderment over someone like this.. until one day you can overcome it and realize you deserve more... you deserve someone who is willing to take the time to see where things may go. I mean after all, if they think you are that great of a person.. and connect to you so well- why wouldn't they be willing to take that leap?

Being someones part time lover is very one-sided.. they reap all the benefit of the intimacy and then get to toss you aside when they find someone they really want to date.  Don't let yourself fall into this cycle.  It's not worth it and in the end you could have been putting all of that energy toward other things. That is not to say that you cannot remove yourself from the feelings (once you accept that nothing will ever come between the two of you) and remain friends with this person. But be wise... and know that it is okay to let go and not have to wonder 'what if?' anymore. 

Goodbye Losers.. I don't need you anymore

So, I have had a revelation that I've been on a pretty bad string of luck when it comes to men and dating. (as you guys can see)

A key factor in this (I believe) is where I am meeting some of these "men" - at the BAR.

I am making a pact to myself... No longer will I be giving my number out to any man I meet at the bar.. and no longer will I be getting any of their numbers.

I figure.. if a guy is REALLY interested in more than a "good time" or "one-night" rendezvous then they will be smart enough to figure out a way to track down my information. PERIOD

I really am interested in finding men of higher caliber, who have CAREERS - not jobs, and who have GOALS for their future.. that will actually take them somewhere in life.

I will not settle for anything less... after-all.. after what I've been through over the last 10 years.. I damn well deserve an AMAZING man who is going to treat me the way I deserve.

I will obviously still continue to blog about my adventures- so don't you worry... there will still be lots of stories to come!

Mr. Playoff Pimp

Mr. Playoff Pimp... Good looking guy, Not gorgeous.. but good looking meets me at the bar 3 weeks ago.

He manages to get me to give him my number and offers to take me to a Jazz Playoff game against Denver. I was super excited because I've never been to a playoff game.

So we are talking back and forth getting to know each other a little bit.. the night comes for the game.
I confirm with him that we are going, shower, get ready and wait for him to let me know where were are supposed to meet up to go to the game.

Time passes... he finally says something along the lines of  "we may have a little problem, I hope you won't be upset" - so I ask him what is going on and he proceeds to tell me that the friends of his that were flying in to go to the game thought he had 6 tickets when he only has 4, and that he needed to give them the tickets that he and I were going to use.

It wasn't a big deal to me at the time because I had originally planned to go watch the game at a friends' house. So I drove to the friend's house and watched the game..

Mean while he is texting me saying that "I will make it up to you" "we will go to the next playoff game"

So, during the week that Jazz were away playing in Denver we hung out things went pretty well, he seems like an okay guy... brags about his "money" "cars" and "connections" a lot during this time (which by the way does not flatter me in the slightest)- when guys brag about that stuff it usually means they are used to getting girls simply by what they "have"- not based off of who they are. So I was a little hesitant to continue things but he did promise we would go to the next home game. (Said several times that "this will not happen again)

Time comes for the next playoff game and I am super excited. I confirm with him that we are going around 4pm. He says we will be meeting up around 7:30 so I rush home from work, get ready, and have some time to spare so I headed to the mall until 7:30

7:45 rolls around and I get a text from him saying "I am soooo annoyed"
I in turn ask him why he is annoyed and he says "I am supposed to pick up these people from the airport and take them to the game but their flight is late"
I said "what time was their flight supposed to be there?"
He says "7:00"

* First of all Mr. Playoff Pimp.. why on earth would you think that you could be picking up people from the airport at 7pm when you had plans to meet me at 7:30pm in the first place??

So I ask him how much longer he thinks he will be.. he said he would let me know when they were in the car.
I told him that I guess I would go get dinner then and hopefully he would be done around halftime so we could get to the 2nd half of the game.

I go eat dinner at Zuppas- (was delicious) and then I was going to go to Skybox to watch the game but I was so pissed that I was waiting around and not AT the game that I didn't even feel like watching it. By this time it is 9:00.
I text him to find out what his status is.. he said "I am still downtown- I just dropped them off and now I have to hurry home and get ready"

*Um.. why the HELL are you not already ready? seriously.. you DID plan a date tonight...

I said "so like a half hour?"
He said "no I I'm not even dressed!"

*again- why?

9:50 rolls around and I ask him "how much longer"
He says "20 min"

This makes me FURIOUS!

I told him "by the time you get ready the game will be over, guess this was a waste of my night - I think I will just go home"

He then proceeds to get upset with me and says "Oh so what is more important the GAME or ME? - We can still go hang out!"

(I hope someone enjoyed our "3rd ROW SEATS"- that he was claiming to have tickets for- cause I am pretty sure there would be no EMPTY seats on the 3rd row of a very crucial Playoff game)

*First of all Mr. Playoff Pimp- I WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU! So why on earth would I still want to go hang out after you stood me up?

Mr. Playoff Pimp text me for the first time since that night -Yesterday - Almost one week after the incident.
Telling me how SORRY he was.. that he APOLOGIZES... that he wants to MAKE IT UP TO ME...

Look dude- First time I gave you the benefit of the doubt that things weren't going to work out.  Then you sit there and "promise" that it will not happen again and that we will go to the next game. Then the time comes for you to PROVE that it won't happen again and you FAIL big time.

Why on earth would I want to see if it will happen a THIRD time.. ???

Men are used to women that they can walk ALL OVER- like door mats.. well let me tell you fellas..
I am NO LONGER one of those women.  I am stronger and more confident than I ever used to be.. and I DON'T deserve to be stood up by any man.

Mr. Playoff Pimp...You are Lucky I gave you a second chance.. I find it funny that you think you deserve a third....

My Little Observations.. Must Be May...

1. It irritates me when the toilet paper roll is not going "over" - it is SO much easier to find the end!
2. I think it's weird when you see someone driving a truck that only has front cab seating and their girlfriend is sitting in the middle next to them instead of in the seat on the passenger side by the door.. it just looks silly 
3. The way some people eat drives me BONKERS!
4.  I find it frustrating when people talk "at you" instead of "to you" seriously... you are not my "master"
5. Had Chinese food on Cinco De Mayo.. Really? haha
6. If you screw up once.. I will give you the benefit of the doubt... screw up twice.. you obviously have other priorities and I am not one of them... think I will pass on finding out if you will screw up for the third time.
7. If someone tells you that a man does not deserve you- listen to them.
8. Spending time with family makes me one happy girl.
9. Happy Mother's Day mom-  You are an amazing, talented beautiful woman and I don't know where I would be without you.  You are the best...
10. Wonder where some people learn to drive... 
11. It is NOT necessary to POUND your fingers on the keyboard to make it work.. seriously annoying people!  
12. If you have the time to set the new toilet paper roll on top of the empty toilet paper roll.. then you obviously have time to REPLACE the empty one with the new one... it's not rocket science!
13. Some people need a "volume control" button attached to their lips...
14. Please judge me off of my own character- not my friends... I am my own person and I have my own values and morals.  I may have friends that do things I may not agree with- but that doesn't change the fact that they are my friends.
15. Bee's Game.... Good Friends....  now that's a good Saturday evening
16. So excited for BBQ's and House parties now that summer is here :)
17. Watching the birds play in the bird bath at work is quite entertaining... cute little birds
18. Work is much better when you are busy...
19. Catching up with an old friend makes me happy :)
20. Friends will always ask for my advice and value my opinion- however in the end they are the only ones who can TRULY choose what to do.. and unless it compromises my well being.. I will be supportive every step of the way
21. I think it is great that there are shows such as Cirque Du Soleil out there that showcase the amazing talents that people possess
22. TenPin- 21 & Older Bar/Bowling alley = Best idea EVER.. way to go Park City
23. Love how refreshed I feel after spending a whole weekend with a swimming pool, hot tub, and steam room :)
24. Work is SO much better when you are busy!
25. Learned something about cooking today... Doing it in heels for over 5 hours.. not such a good idea!
26. FunDip- not sure which is better the flavored powder or the white candy stick... hmmmm
27. Time off is so refreshing.... ahhhhhh....
28. Choose to be YOU, not some fake persona that you think people want you to be
29. When boys continue to let you down.. remember you ALWAYS have your girlfriends :)
1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA RON - R.I.P :)
30. Had a moment straight out of The Hangover... oy vey
31. Some people are kind and personable and others are just plain rude and nasty... I have faith in our generation being raised by those that are kind and personable.. the generation being raised by the latter is what makes me VERY nervous!