So You Say You're "Jaded"...

By definition Jaded means to be: Cynical (see below) or Fatigued (worn out)

Cynical:
1. like or characteristic of a cynic; distrusting or disparaging the motives of others.
2. showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, esp. by actions that exploit the scruples of others.
3. bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

I put this on here because I think it is the easiest way to see what being "Jaded" really means. Yes, I understand that "jaded" probably has a different meaning to everyone, however ultimately these are the driving forces causing us to act/feel jaded. (specifically in regards to dating)

Now, I will be the first to say that I have been guilty of this... however.. I do my best to not let it affect my dating life now.  Here's why...

It is not fair to go on a date automatically cutting the guy/girl down by distrust, bitterness, and actions that ex boyfriends or people in your past have caused.  This new person did not do those things to you.. so why should they automatically be judged? Why should they automatically "lose points" because you feel as though you are currently "jaded"? If you go into the date with these feelings you are not giving the other person a chance from the get go.. so why are you even on the date?

If a person continues to act jaded.. their dating life is going to seem to always suck, and they are constantly going to be disappointed because they have already set a standard for the people they are dating. I understand that what happens to you in your past relationships affects your current ones, however.. it shouldn't be worn on your sleeve.. and being "jaded" is not something you should say to someone you're on a date with- it's a HUGE turn off.  Who wants to date someone that admits they are jaded?  

If you can't go into a dating situation with optimism, then it would seem as though you are wasting your and the other persons' time.  If you aren't willing to put your past behind you.. learn from it.. and move on- then you shouldn't start dating again until you are able to. If you can't give a new potential man/woman the full attention, time, and trust it takes to date then you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

As I said, I'm as guilty as any of being jaded in my past... you get to the point where you want to give up on dating because "they are all the same" "all the nice ones are taken" "people can't be trusted" "they just want a piece of ass" etc. However, I've also come to realize that I cannot go on living my life this way if I -at some point-  intend to find the man I want to marry and grow old with. I also know that I cannot be content with thinking that all men are this way, if there is no optimism I will never find a guy because I will always be tearing him down from the beginning.. this is NOT healthy.

I also know that the way I have been treated in the past.. is not acceptable.. knowing that, I know now what I deserve.. so why waste emotions on being jaded, when you can just grow from everything in your past and look forward to those you meet in your future?

Give everyone a clean slate and honest chance. It is the only way you open the door to finding someone that is going to make you happy. So to those of you that say you are jaded.. or are told that you are jaded.. it is something that you personally control.. if you choose to be jaded then you will find dating miserable.. if you choose to be optimistic and open your heart (even though you've been hurt in the past) you will eventually see that all men/women are NOT the same.. and that there are people out there capable of treating you well.

I understand that we all have our "check list" but don't go into every date thinking he/she is just like the rest - open your chances by opening your heart. Everyone doesn't have bad motives when it comes to dating.. get rid of the assumptions you've set by being "jaded." Dating is supposed to be fun...