Part Time Lover

At some point or another I'm sure most of us have been in this situation.. where there is this person.. that you have had a connection with for some time.  And not just a 'we're great friends' connection.. something more than that.. something unique and special, however you never seem to get the chance to see where the relationship would go beyond the 'friend' level.

Somehow you always end up being the 'in between' person, or what I like to call, the Part Time Lover.  Let me explain exactly what I mean...  you know that you and this particular person have chemistry- emotionally, physically, mentally and so many other ways that sometimes you just can't even explain it.  This person is usually your 'what if?' As in.. even when you are involved in other relationships.. you still think 'what would happen if we were dating?' 

However, when the opportunity presents itself.. and you are both single (you may finally get the chance to try things out and see where it may go) they don't want to date you, but they want to be intimate with you because you connect so well.  They utilize you as their part time lover. They have no intention of ever really wanting to date you.. but you are the person that they use as their 'comfort blanket' when they aren't seriously dating someone else.

Some people would compare this to a booty call- someone to hook up with until you find your next boyfriend/girlfriend- however, it is a bit more than a booty call. For instance.. when you have that great of a connection and those feelings for someone.. you cannot just detach yourself from those feelings and just casually hook up. (or at least I can't)

It gets to the point where you finally just have to accept the fact that nothing more will every happen between the two of you... that you will always be viewed as their part time lover and never as someone they would be in a relationship with, because time and time again you watch them date others and then run to you when they aren't in a relationship. 

I am not going to be someones comfort blanket... it is much too complicated to have casual sex with someone that you have feelings for.. and a bit hurtful when that person claims to have the same feelings for you- but can so easily detach themselves from those feelings.

It is crazy though, how long we allow ourselves to be in wonderment over someone like this.. until one day you can overcome it and realize you deserve more... you deserve someone who is willing to take the time to see where things may go. I mean after all, if they think you are that great of a person.. and connect to you so well- why wouldn't they be willing to take that leap?

Being someones part time lover is very one-sided.. they reap all the benefit of the intimacy and then get to toss you aside when they find someone they really want to date.  Don't let yourself fall into this cycle.  It's not worth it and in the end you could have been putting all of that energy toward other things. That is not to say that you cannot remove yourself from the feelings (once you accept that nothing will ever come between the two of you) and remain friends with this person. But be wise... and know that it is okay to let go and not have to wonder 'what if?' anymore.